Timidity

It is perfectly normal for a cat to be shy of new places, people and things. You can predict in advance that a stray will be particularly timid, or a cat that has been badly treated, or one you have only just acquired. Nobody likes to see an animal frightened, and although timidity is quite natural, there are things you can do to help your cat feel more sure of itself.

Get your kitten used to human company

The more pleasant your kitten’s early experience of people, the calmer and more trusting it will be when it grows up. Of course, if you have an adult cat, you can still work at widening its horizons — it will simply take a little longer.

If your kitten is bold, the work you do with it will save your visitors from its pestering curiosity. And if the kitten is shy, try the following.

As always, let your kitten or your cat set the pace. Your job is to make the kitten’s dealings with strangers pleasant if it makes an attempt to have any. Brief your friends not to chase after the kitten but to let it come to them of its own accord. If the kitten really does come up, let it sniff the stranger first, before the stranger shows any sign of having noticed it. After that, have your friend offer the kitten its favourite treat. Do not get in the way; let it eat the treat. Repeat this three or four times. If the kitten seems calm and even eager for company, let your friend stroke it a little while giving it the treat.

Another approach is to have your friend offer the kitten a game. To start a good romp it is often enough to drag a toy on a string back and forth in front of the kitten as though by accident. The game will let the kitten relax and will give it pleasure, and it will connect both of those with the presence of a stranger.

Give your cat a refuge

Every frightened cat needs a place where it can hide and feel safe. It is far simpler to provide it with a refuge it can reach easily than to let it pick a refuge of its own, which it will inevitably do.

Put a box at the back of a cupboard and put an old sweater of yours in it — that is often quite enough. But whether the cat uses the refuge you have provided or one it has chosen for itself, respect its decision. Never reach into its refuge and never try to pull it out, except when you have no other choice — if the house is on fire, say, or the cat has escaped in the middle of a bath or eaten something poisonous, or if you are due at the vet in twenty minutes and it takes half an hour to get there. In every other case, leave the cat alone! If it can trust its refuge, it is that much more likely to venture out of it.

Reward your cat for bravery

A special treat taken from a stranger’s hand is a very good reward for a kitten’s or a cat’s bravery. But if they do not dare to do that yet, try not feeding them for a day. Then, when a guest arrives, lay a “chain” of treats on the floor leading from your cat’s refuge to the door of the room where you will be entertaining the guest. At the start of the chain put smaller pieces and space them out. As the chain nears the door, put down larger and better pieces, and the largest piece at the end of it. Then let things take their course.

Pay absolutely no attention to whether the cat comes out or not. When the visit is over, walk along the chain, collect what is left and see how far your cat managed to get. In time the cat will grow bolder and will eventually go the whole way to the door. Splendid! Next time put the largest piece a little further on, inside the room. Once the cat is reaching that last piece regularly, move it forward again by about a foot.

Will it take a long time? Of course, but what is the hurry? It really does not matter in the least, does it? If your cat prefers to hide in its safe refuge, that is its own affair. Try not to worry about it too much. It may well be that your cat is far less upset by the situation than you are.

Ignore the fear

Here is one of the mistakes almost every cat lover makes: without meaning to, we reward them for being afraid. The cat looks frightened, you stroke it and say in a soothing voice: “It’s all right, baby. Don’t worry!” Congratulations! You have just praised your cat for behaving like a frightened animal.

Here is a universal truth: not one of us ever says “Don’t worry!” and “It’s all right” when there really is nothing to worry about. To an animal, “Don’t worry!” and “It’s all right” become a hint that something bad is happening or is about to happen. Often it is the owner who confirms it, being worried not by the situation itself but by the cat’s reaction to it. Say you have brought your new kitten to the vet. The kitten is being cautious, but it is not frightened. You are anxious about the injections and worried that the kitten will take fright. You begin stroking it quickly and saying: “It’s all right, it’s all right!” The kitten begins to feel the strain, because you are strained yourself. When the injection is given, that only confirms its misgivings. Now the words “It’s all right!” and the very tone of your voice put the kitten on the alert at once. Something is happening, something is wrong!

When we are nervous, our breathing, our speech and the movements of our hands all speed up and grow more intense. Your cat will read that tension of yours as a sign of danger coming. Help your cat by slowing your speech, your hands and your breathing. Take a deep breath, then let it out slowly and relax. Work at speaking and behaving as you usually do. Your calm will calm your cat as well.

Never force a cat

Forcing a frightened cat to do anything is a fruitless idea. A frightened cat will do everything it can not to give in to force. At such moments you are no longer its best friend; you are an obstacle in its way. Trying to escape, it will go through you, around you or over you if it has to.

Trying to hold a frightened cat by force is often not merely painful but pointless. It will cost you the animal’s trust, without which no progress in this area is possible at all. It will probably only deepen the neurosis your cat has about whatever frightens it — for now it knows it is powerless to escape the danger. All in all, force is the greatest and most useless waste of time there is where a cat is concerned.

Keep your cat amused

There are exercises made for the purpose. Cats, especially the most energetic ones, usually exercise themselves. It is not always the kind of exercise one would wish for, though. So, to head off unwanted behaviour and to release pent-up tension, roll table tennis balls across the floor and have some fun with your cat. Divide its toys into three sets and put out a new set every few days. Make a particular point of playing with your cat for at least fifteen minutes in the morning and fifteen in the evening.

How to help a newly adopted cat settle in

To begin with, a perfectly normal cat may start hiding when it finds itself in a new home, especially if it has had to change one way of life for another.

Usually the cat picks up new habits and joins the family. Watch it closely during this time, because stress can bring on illness, and illness can go unnoticed if nobody ever sees your cat.

If the cat hides for more than a week, start working on the sly. Cut its ration in half. Then at night, when everything is quiet, lay a chain of food along the floor through the whole flat and go to bed. If you feed your cat wet food, use small paper saucers. Leave the largest portions in the far corners of its new domain. The rest of the portions should be tiny, so that the cat keeps a good appetite. A rumbling stomach can spur its courage on.

If there are other pets in the family, shut them away for the night. Keep them in your bedroom with the door closed. Give the cat a chance to explore its new home in private.

In trying to touch the cat, be as polite as you would be with any frightened cat. If the cat seems at ease, reach slowly towards it and stop about a metre from its face. Glance at it briefly, then look away. There is no need to stare. Speak to it calmly, call it by name. Tell it how wonderful it is and how fine its new home is.

If at any point in your approach it backs away, stop! If it shows no interest at all, do not go on. Either leave, or sit quietly beside it. Read a book, paint a picture, write a letter. But whatever you do, be quiet and calm and leave the cat to itself. If it sniffs your hand and shows some curiosity, reach slowly towards it and stroke it under the chin and along the neck. The quickest way to win your cat’s trust is to do everything slowly.