The first day

It is best to fetch your new pet in the morning, and better still on the eve of a weekend or a holiday, so that you have time to make friends with the kitten before you go back to work.

Keep the kitten in its carrier for the whole journey home. A frightened kitten can be out of your arms in a moment and into trouble. Lay several sheets of newspaper on the floor of the carrier and cover them with an old towel; then the floor stays dry if the kitten has an accident.

If the kitten soils one corner of the carrier and can keep clear of it, you may prefer to leave things as they are. It depends on how long the journey is, on the temper the kitten is in, on how used you are to cats, and on how strong the smell in the car has become. A kitten that is frightened — howling, huddled up, its pupils wide — should be left alone: cleaning out the carrier will only add to the stress. If it seems to be taking things well, clean up quickly and drive on.

In truth there is very little you can do to persuade a frightened kitten that all is well. It has just been taken out of the only world it knew and put inside a noisy moving metal object — a place it could not have imagined — in the company of a person it has never met before. Who could blame it for being afraid? Once it discovers how fine its new home is, it will settle in with a contented purr, but do not look for that on the first car journey.

To clean the carrier out, stop the car. And please do not attempt it with one hand on the steering wheel and the other opening the carrier door. Then clean, with every door and window shut. If you are driving alone, try not to lift the kitten out while you do it: a kitten can find a hiding place in your car that you never knew existed. Where you can, simply reach in, roll up the soiled towel, take it out, spread a fresh one and shut the door. The soiled towel goes into one of the plastic bags you brought with you. Speak in a calm voice and treat the whole thing as unremarkable — that is what settles a kitten.

Now drive on. At home, carry the kitten to the safe room you got ready for it. Put the carrier on the floor and open the door. Make yourself comfortable and read a magazine. Do not try to make the kitten come out; it will come out of its own accord soon enough. Let it set the pace. When it ventures out, simply watch it for a few minutes and see how it explores. As soon as it looks comfortable, lift it gently and put it in the litter box.

This is not the moment to have the neighbours round and throw a party for the new kitten. Respect the position the kitten is in. Let it first learn to trust its new home. In a few days ask friends over, but no more than one or two at a time. Do not let over-eager people of any age — children included — chase the kitten about “just to make friends with it”. If the kitten withdraws, respect the decision: it is telling you “Help! I have had enough!” The sooner it learns that you will leave its peace alone whenever it needs you to, the sooner it will trust you.